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Another Way Of Making Babies?
by Lutalo Joseph Willrich on Tuesday 20th October '09

I had decided not to talk about this stuff anymore (recall the time I promised we were going to make babies with my "baby"? Well, we ended up just enjoying the voyage to and from the milky-way-galaxy - preferred not to bring anything back from t he journey!). But recently I have been reading a couple of science books on the future of genetics, eugenics, nano-technology, and lots of other singularity-related-sciences, and then made up my mind to share some of my crazy speculations about the whole baby making phenomena.

Today the focus is on what the future of making babies is going to be like. Please don't leave behind your imagination and creativity if you'll enjoy this journey we are about to partake, and most of all, don't bring along your religious biasness (I really have grown to hate the shallow mindedness of some Christians - no ill intended ) we need some open thought and room for novel ideas please!

Will it be the anticipated year of the Nibiru - 2012? Or will it be Kurzweil's 2045? Am not sure which of them it is, but all I know is that it isn't too far away in the future, we are going to experiment with or invent HOT new ways of making these small beings. So what are the possibilities?

The most obvious one? No more will you have to worry about getting stuck with that doomsday looking chick with a brain 3 times that of a drunk Einstein, just to get yo u a crew of super smart kids. Actually you might not even need to know this woman at all (or if it's a man you want ), Cloning babies will have gone to another level; the International Genome Bank will maintain a bank of DNA categorized and retrievable on re quest for a given set of characteristics that you particularly want. For example it will be possible to specify what height range your kid is going to stabilize in; how much of the hormones that cause horniness your kid will have (oh! So we might prevent our kids from not being poor dead logs?). Personally I would want to determine the rate at which my child will be able to factorize a >6 digit - this might solve the question of whether I should teach her Lisp or Ruby first.

I once knew some gynecologist that was given a medical report proving he couldn't produce any kids! This guy had been helping thousands of mothers get their prize kids, and all the time he obviously was staring at the "unforeseeable" (could it be the reason he lost ability? Like probably his manhood developed a sort of "resistance" to the most cherished lips?). The results were given him just a few days before the planned marriage to his beloved colleague( a certain nurse) was to happen! I never want to recall the frustration the science stirred up! So what does the future hold for my comrade and those of his kind amongst you? You don't need your sperm! No, this is not about cloning; you don't want your infertile genes creeping into the next generation (well, doesn't happen all the time, but do you want to take the risk?) and you probably don't want to use that other guy's (sorry, the other guy makes our babies so many times - these cunning girls! ) .

These mad scientists will be able to solve all this by using DNA from a few special animals. Yes, it will be possible to get say the DNA of a dolphin and using advanced genetic engineering be able to impose human traits and mold your dream kid by fusing this fishy sperm with your wife's ova to get you the baby. But this might see us raise kids with such strange characteristics like night vision, ability to decipher the grumbles of your pet cat, and strange ones like having two hearts! Is this sounding like Hollywood, you don't know. And what about the question of whose father the child will be - the fish or the man?

I love my computer so much. Actually the word love is not used in the metaphorical sense here - I literally love this machine and wouldn't mind having a child or two with it or some other more advanced but graceful being of its kind! Want to know the reason for my devious taste? I can model this "wife" of mine 100% into the kind of thing I want, thanks to millions of programming languages available, the ability to swap it's hardware at any time, modify its processor circuits or totally move her soul (Software) to a whole new body! No woman on this damn Obamaic Earth can give me such control and flexibility, not even these chics that fight to evade age like Madonna. But the time is coming when these silent circuits are going to possess intellects - thanks to sleepless nights of research by AI wonder kids of Silicon Valley and Illuminati Satanists from such temples as that of Set. Will this be utopia for only geeks ? No, wait till you find out how many of you would "die" for your cars, iPhones or how many ladies prefer to have a Funch (short for Fucking Lunch) with their dildos or those stuffed "koala bears". It will definitely not be this kind of computers or gadgets available right now that we'll have then, but I guess these machines will be intelligent and will be geared at giving us a whole new Human Computer Interaction Interface. You don't want to know how much I await that day!

Made in New Ways!

You heard about Area51, Camp Dulce, Mexico or the Bermuda Triangle? It is very possible that by that time these multitudes of conspiracy theories and super secret phenomena on will be hardcore reality just like collective intelligence, the dark internet or the New World Order. Aliens, aliens, the good-old-egg-eyed gray beings will be daily staple for the streets. No more shall there be need to hack Pentagon Clouds looking for UFO archives and Draconian science files; these dudes will finally be accepted as a part of our existence and they will walk amongst us and will make babies with us!

Do you want a kid that will bring home stories of black holes and who can make dolls using anti-matter? Welcome to the dimension of repto-sapiens! Or shall we be able to fly with our blue brain ladies back to the root of all civilizations (thanks to time travel and space-time warps), just to spend our honey moon a few light years away from the Andromeda Galaxy or at the heart of the Magellan Clouds ? I sometimes wish this whole buzz about us having descended from the seeds of Martians (or could it be a different decent for Caucasians and the rest of us, like we are descendants of Neptune "niggas"?).

Too much dreaming? Well, what do you expect a mind like mine to be doing on a boring Sunday morning like this one, especially after finally losing the last reason I had for attending church ( meeting me a gal )? All I can think of now is a brilliant tomorrow with lots of opportunities and novel experiences for my intellect to ponder and consume. I would rather die early than have to live in a future of conservatism and technological stagnancy. But to tell you one thing I believe, technology is going to be the transport to our next evolutionary stage. One or two centuries from now, Homo sapiens won't be the same anymore. I can't wait to make the next age baby, and I want to make this baby in style! What about you?